Again, thanks to junkwaffle for all images and banners. I put this up a bit early so he's still working on a few banners, so hopefully I'll be able to upload those for you guys in a little while.
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THE AWARD CEREMONY
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The votes are in, and GAF has spoken. Here I present to you the results...
Non-Attendants:
WINNER: Shadowrun (57)
RUNNER-UP: Too Human (41)
PS3 may be the most rosebudded console of all time now, but it was 360 that came out with the two most talked about disasters in game form of E3 2006. What the fuck was FASA thinking? I mean I expect they had some sort of meeting about the direction they wanted to take for this game at some point. "You know what I loved most about the Genesis/SNES classics," said FASA employee 1, "all the shooting and counter strike-like gameplay!" They all nodded around the table that day. Then they all went out and bought the latest Sum41 album.
Too Human tried its hardest to mount a comeback at the end, but it couldn't muster up near enough hate. I imagine that's mostly because nobodies nostalgic memories of playing Too Human on Genesis are being raped repeatedly. Ark-AMN wanted me to say that this was totally one of the best games at E3, and all of you dudes don't know what you're talkin' about!
Attendants:
WINNER: Too Human (8)
RUNNER-UP: Shadowrun (4)/Genji 2(4)
No such luck for Too Human with the people actually on the show floor. They played it, and that shiznit needs fixing up. Especially the framerate. Christ, that framerate.
But this time, Genji 2 has joined the fun. With its historically accurate Giant Crab battles and real-time weapon switching for massive damage, this game set a new standard for next-gen awesome. And it's only on PS3. If that's not a reason to put down $600 dollars, then nothing is (besides maybe Bob Ross magical vacation in Happy Treeland, but that's not due until 2009).
Non-Attendants:
WINNER: Super Mario Galaxy (65)
RUNNER-UP: Gears of War (22)
I guess the fact that Mario is back is besides the fact when so much condensed mushroom kingdom awesome has been dished out across the board these past few weeks. But this runaway favorite from E3 2006 nonetheless stole the show - it proved wiimote worked, managed to still feel like Mario, and it also wasn't overtly ugly like every other Wii game.
I mean seriously, if you needed any more proof that Miyamoto is constantly on drugs then just check out the video. Somewhere between chasing rainbow colored musical notes, running around small floating planets, flying through outerspace by waggling a wiimote and fighting a huge fuckin' Space Lava Octopus you'll realize this. Game design is always better with a little LSD.
Attendants:
WINNER: Super Mario Galaxy (8)
RUNNER-UP: Gears of War (4)
And the people on the showfloor pretty much agree. Of course it wasn't quite as unanimous, but then again the sample wasn't big enough.
Gears of War deserves any and all praise it gets by virtue of chainsawing aliens. That is some great shit. All games should have chainsaws in post apocalyptic Earth scenarios. Also, the graphics are pretty mindblowing!
I guess the gameplay might be good too, I wouldn't know.
Non-Attendants:
WINNER: Super Mario Galaxy (126)
RUNNER-UP: Super Smash Bros. Brawl (12)
Not much left to be said about Super Mario Galaxy - the game rocks - but Smash Bros. Brawl hasn't been touched on yet! Of course, it wasn't playable at all... but damn, that shit had Snake. Who wasn't surprised by that? Asstastical Zero Suit Samus was cool too I guess. And Nintendo keeps giving its fans hope of Kid Icarus' return, so Pit was nice too.
But you know what I want? Claus from Mother 3 to be a secret character. Along with Ness, it'd be like the Marth and Roy of the Earthbound world! Beat the shit out of people with bats and yo-yos. They better not gimp Ness this time around.
Attendants:
WINNER: Super Mario Galaxy (19)
RUNNER-UP: Wii Sports (5)
Pretty much on the same wavelength, except these people only nominate things they actually played. You should learn from them. Wii Sports seems neat, I suppose. Something you gotta experience to really be into, I guess.
"Playing is believing" is probably what Iwata would say. Fuck Iwata, he needs to greenlight Mother1+2/Mother 3 for the US. Straight from the top, nobody would stop him.
Non-Attendants:
WINNER: Heavenly Sword (71)
RUNNER-UP: Metal Gear Solid 4 (48)
Guys, MGS4 was just a trailer. Yeah, I know every year these Metal Gear trailers find a way to become best game, but you can't really tell that from suicide threats and crazy Raiden foot karate! But I digress. It did look awesome, at any rate.
Heavenly Sword is more up the alley. God of War with a female lead, which is fine by me! As long as they can do as good a job as capturing that epic feel as David Jaffe and crew did. Then they can copy as much as they want. So I guess I want this game... when I get my PS3 in 2013, it'll probably be one of the games I pick up.
Attendants:
WINNER: Heavenly Sword (20)
RUNNER-UP: Assassin's Creed (5)/Metal Gear Solid 4 (5)
Again, a pretty consistent result. This time Assassin's Creed creeped in there. The lucky bastards who got to see a playable demonstration all unanimously seem blown away. If I can be all time cop and shit, it'll be totally awesome. All pushing people out of my way and losing balance with advanced next-gen physics!
Non-Attendants:
WINNER: Mass Effect (56)
RUNNER-UP: Gears of War (53)
Bioware really can't disappoint. It's impossible (let's put Jade Empire behind us)! Like some of the sci-fi themes present in their games, the staff at Bioware are all genetically enhanced programming zombies. Their fingertips pour out holy awesome unto the world.
Guys, remember last year when EGM was all "BioWare is totally making exclusive games for PS3"? Hahaha.
Attendants:
WINNER: Gears of War (19)
RUNNER-UP: Lost Planet (10)
Now this is interesting because Mass Effect barely even registered for the folks who attended. But I imagine that's more because most of them didn't play it. Lost Planet is awesome, and that demo really helped catapult the game into the limelight it apparently deserves. Nice to see new franchises getting such positive buzz.
Non-Attendants:
WINNER: Super Paper Mario (48)
RUNNER-UP: Zelda: Twilight Princess (37)
This was a fun category to count 'cause it was pretty close for the runner ups. God of War II and Zelda: Twilight Princess had a back and forth practically the entire thread. I guess some people were confused if they should count Twilight Princess a current gen game thanks to Nintendo's propaganda machine trying to change it into a Wii launch game. Ignore them bitches. Zelda:TP is current gen awesome.
Super Paper Mario is the game of the show hands down and it didn't even attend E3. That's how bitchin' this game is. That's the sort of -power- it has. Cheapass gamers and really any gamers world round benefit from such greatness. All floatin' down with Peach's umbrella, switchin' from 2D to 3D.
Attendants:
WINNER: God of War II (12)
RUNNER-UP: Okami(5)/Super Paper Mario(5)
God of War gets the respect it deserves from these folks though. When you play a game where you jump on a cyclops and pull its eye from the socket, you applaud that game. Because it is awesome. This time Kratos has a foursome, and also he goes to the end of the world. But mostly, he cuts some bitches. And that's what we all want to do when we play videogames at the end of the day.
Okami love is nice too. 'Cause it's great, and Matlock is wrong about everything.
Non-Attendants:
WINNER: New! Super Mario Bros. (41)
RUNNER-UP: Yoshi's Island 2 (26)
New! Super Mario Bros. is already out for all the lowly non-attendants, so I'm guessing that helped it along a bit! But everyone seems to like it enough to keep it propped up for another E3, so hurrah. Classic Mario 2D platforming will always be "ftw."
Which is why Yoshi's Island 2 is also here. 'Cause it's a fuckin' sequel to Yoshi's Island 1. I mean I can let that sit with you guys or whatever, but basically it's the best god damn news ever because Yoshi's Island is one of the best games ever made. You damn well better believe I'm ready to touch fuzzy.
Attendants:
WINNER: Zelda: Phantom Hourglass (7)
RUNNER-UP: New! Super Mario Bros (6)
For some reason I didn't really read much about Phantom Hourglass over E3. But since it uses Wind Waker style, I'm sure it's awesome. And these dudes agree. New! Super Mario Bros. gets a loving nod.
Non-Attendants:
WINNER: Loco Roco (47)
RUNNER-UP: Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops (42)
By now any self-respecting PSP owner has downloaded the playable demo for Loco Roco and loved it. So the increasing hardcore gamer buzz surrounding it doesn't shock me. A rolling yellow blob tilts around a screen, growing fatter and fatter while singing along with shitty jpop. That's some AAA material for sure.
Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops is practically the reason PSP was invented. This will be the greatest portable game ever made, and it will sell 8 copies in Japan.
Attendants:
WINNER: Loco Roco (16)
RUNNER-UP: Ultimate Ghouls 'n Ghosts (7)
drohne leads the Ultime Ghouls 'n Ghosts love-in around GAF, so I'll let him gush over it if he wants. But basically, it's more incredible than any hardcore gamer would ever hope for.
Non-Attendants:
WINNER: New! Super Mario Bros. (37)
RUNNER-UP: Zelda: Phantom Hourglass (18)
This was mostly close for the runner-ups. Yoshi's Island 2 and Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin both did their damndest to make it up here, with 17 votes each. And really, Castlevania deserves it more than fucking New! Super Mario Bros. But whatever hos, the mass has spoken.
You take your loser victory, and us true believers will march to the throne in a few months when Castlevania comes out.
Attendants:
WINNER: New! Super Mario Bros. (5)/Zelda: Phantom Hourglass (5)
RUNNER-UP: Loco Roco (4)/Elite Beat Agents (4)/Castlevania
oR (4)I guess nobody could really agree here, 'cause there were plenty of ties to go around. Again Super Mario Bros. gets the nostalgic love-in, but this time Zelda: Phantom Hourglass gets equal praise. Chris Kholer did his best hyponotizing act to get people to vote for Elite Beat Agents, the Oendan for America, but it came up a tad bit short. Loco Roco being a runner up was a fluke because nobody cares about PSP.
Non-Attendants:
WINNER: Sony (130)
RUNNER-UP: Capcom (7)
I think it's safe to say Sony isolated just a few of its hardcore fans when it announced the price. I mean, this "victory" here was about as loud and clear as possible, I think! The bomb dropped, and nobody could even think about anything else. Wii60 welcomes the crown.
On the other hand, I guess people are a little annoyed that Capcom didn't show off Resident Evil 5 or Devil May Cry 4. But really, they say they want to present it next in playable form. So TGS is gonna be like double the Capcom greatness! Drohne also wants to give a kindly "fuck you" to all you Capcom haters.
Attendants:
WINNER: Sony (20)
RUNNER-UP: Tecmo (3)
Again, Sony is crying crying all night long. Nobody likes him anymore. People say bad things behind his back. Sometimes to his face! And all the devs are making new plans for the prom. Too bad, Sony. Too bad.
Non-Attendants:
WINNER: Metal Gear Solid 4 (65)
RUNNER-UP: Super Smash Bros. Brawl (60)
Seriously, Nintendo fanboys. Did you really think you could change the outcome? Oh, you tried. You masturbated to Kirby all night long, and you got your little lemmings to vote vote vote for more fake fighting. But at the end of the day, Smash Snake is no match for Suicide Snake. Why did you even bother? THE PROPHECY REMAINS TRUE.
Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!
Attendants:
WINNER: Metal Gear Solid 4 (20)
RUNNER-UP: Super Smash Bros. Brawl (6)
People on the show floor set up campfire and had orgies in front of the giant MGS4 screen. I hear BuddyC has a few different STDs from the ordeal.
Non-Attendants:
WINNER: Spore (59)
RUNNER-UP: Wii Sports (45)
Will Wright may be a genius, or some people may just like to drink his piss. Kevin Pereira can't really design creatures for prime time evolution, perhaps reflecting his own evolutionary state. And you can share your creations with Mr. Pereira in the galaxy mode of the game.
But most of all, Will Wright's Spore proves that you don't need to waggle your wand to be the most innovative kid on the block. All you really need is an empty bottle of absinthe.
Attendants:
WINNER: Spore (12)
RUNNER-UP: Wii Sports (10)
Swinging baseball bats and tennis rackets while subsequently looking like a retard obviously appeals to some subset of the population, but not as much as creating retarded looking creatures to fuck around with.
Non-Attendants:
WINNER: PS3 Price Announcement (76)
RUNNER-UP: Super Smash Bros. Brawl/Snake (29)
The shot heard around the world was more like a explosive nuclear backfire in Sony's own backyard, but it fits. Every two generations a giant must fall, because God has written it. And that sort of shit gotta happen in the most incredible fuckin' way.
Snake in Smash Bros. Brawl was pretty surprising. I think it was probably more surprising than the PS3 price, only because the thought of Snake beating the shit out of Kirby is more surreal than anything I've ever heard in my life. If I'm using my box as a shield, the game is already victorious!
Attendants:
WINNER: PS3 Price Announcement (12)
RUNNER-UP: Super Smash Bros. Brawl/Snake (9)
The Sony fanboys who spent their hard earned vacation money making it to LA for E3 must have been slitting their wrists after they left the conference. Meeting up with Fishie at the Cantina, I imagine, is little comfort!
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AFTERMATH
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So use this thread to discuss this shiznit. Your hopes and dreams, aspirations for the FUTURE OF THE INDUSTRY and maybe DrGAKMAN will come in and treat us with one of his graph paper looks into progress.
Finally, Check out this link for complete statistics on where all the votes went.
