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[Bragr]

"The tonal dissonance between its cheerful art style and the actual subject matter is impossible to ignore."

"You just spend some money to recruit more bodies for the grinder, or manufacture more tanks for the front line. None of the COs seem concerned that war comes at a price."

"But I couldn’t stand to watch these young commanders treat war like a board game, one where only their personal pride mattered. I lost an average of five to eight units per battle, and I felt worse about my losses than any of the characters did."

"By the time I stopped playing, I realized that my CO actually did deserve to be represented as a child. Even the game wants you to know that these characters are all just children playing at war."

The Advance Wars Remake Is Tactically Satisfying But Narratively Toothless

The tonal dissonance between its cheerful art style and the actual subject matter is impossible to ignore

kotaku.com

 

[TexMex]

Fucking exhausting.

 

[Shits_McGiggles]

I'm not clicking that shit.

 

[Meicyn]

lmao

 

[Fake]

Please, at least share a link without the proper site getting clicks.

Actually, never mind. Don't share the site at all.

 

[LordCBH]

The sooner kotaku closes and its employees are jobless, the better.

 

[kvltus lvlzvs]

Kotaku in action, lmao

 

[Umbasaborne]

Quality journalism

 

[reinking]

"But I couldn’t stand to watch these young commanders treat war like a board game..."

 

[TheInfamousKira]

Kotaku?

Miss me with ALL of that nonsense.

 

[TLZ]

 

[killatopak]

fucking kotaku lol

 

[dave_d]

Please, at least share a link without the proper site getting clicks.

Actually, never mind. Don't share the site at all.

He/she could have used archive.today to do that.

 

[ADiTAR]

It's literally played on a board.

No wonder Nintendo blacklisted them.

 

[Buggy Loop]

The number of peons sacrificed in chess, freaking genocide!

 

[Rykan]

Imagine writing this shit while simultaneously glorifying and promoting exploitative games filled with gambling elements that are explicitly marketed towards children.

I’m always looking forward to every major Genshin patch

Consider a different career.

 

[Sgt.Asher]

Kotaku: wHY dID NiNtEdo bLacK LiSt Us?

 

[TexMex]

“It’s about being smart but having luck bite you in the ass” - Sun Tzu

 

[diffusionx]

I am not going to click on the link but I assume this "writer" doesn't play any violent videogames, ever, because if they do this would be a pretty weird spot to take a stand.

 

[nush]

I'm not clicking that shit.

"Kotakus opinion" saved you the time with the first two words.

 

[ZehDon]

Time to add another square to the bingo sheet, I guess: "[irrelevant thing] is impossible to ignore."

"Yikes."
"This ain't it, chief."
"Big oof."
"Let that sink in."
"Impossible to ignore".

In any case, if you insist on reading Kotaku, at least include an archive link to their "articles" so they don't generate revenue from these kinds of threads.

 

[DonF]

What a dumbass

 

[Thabass]

They're also posting Tears of the King spoilers directly on their website. Kotaku is a disease.

 

[-Zelda-]

People who actually think that way need to be in therapy.

 

[Danjin44]

WTF did I just read!? I hope to god these guys don’t play games like Triangle Strategy.

 

[Mokus]

Kotaku journalist having PTSD after playing a video game... Let's be honest, no one is surprised.

 

[Kilau]

 

[Barakov]

Everyone on that website continues to be bitch-made. Imagine complaining about Advance Wars of all things.

It's definitely the mantra of : EveRyThiNg MUsT bE PoliTIcaL.

 

[Moonjt9]

Modern society really sucks.

 

[marquimvfs]

The number of peons sacrificed in chess, freaking genocide!

Whites always play first. RACISM!

 

[kiphalfton]

Pseudo intellectuals

 

[clem84]

He must be a big Doom fan.

 

[Agent_4Seven]

It's a fuckin'.... video.... game!

 

[Edmund]

The sooner kotaku closes and its employees are jobless, the better.

I really miss Mike Fahey. The best journalist ever and I miss his articles so much. Kotaku can fuck right off now.

 

[semiconscious]

'& let's not even mention that truly terrible long-running series in which a number of living creatures are kept in individual balls & only ever released in order to fight each other!...'

 

[Jaruru]

Kotaku has been blacklisted by how many game developers so far?

 

[ShadyAcshuns]

 

[EviLore]

 

[GenericUser]

It works, they generate attention and thus probably clicks for their websites. They know as well as every other person that the article is bullshit, but at the end, this shit generates money for them.

 

[TheInfamousKira]

It works, they generate attention and thus probably clicks for their websites. They know as well as every other person that the article is bullshit, but at the end, this shit generates money for them.

I understand and agree with this take, but also raise you the fact that even amongst the elites of virtue signal shitposting in the form of editorials, there exist levels to this bullshit. Kotaku as a business, when it's not posting animated kidxbestiality or getting triggered by holes, creams itself over posting content that, while clearly batshit, you can see how a batshit person would believe or get something from consuming said content.

And on the other end of the scale, you have this horseshit caliber shlock, and you just KNOW that it made some soylent fuckstain on his way to discard his crusty cuck sock in the laundry room whilst his wife's boyfriend does aftercare in the bedroom comment about how much of a pussy the author is. Like, it's the type of shit I'D post on a ballsy day if I was trolling a forum and my shtick was blue haired streamer, but the Left can't meme, so I'm left with the age old occam's razor conclusion of "desperation for content/engagement/revenue/relevance,"

Smarmy chucklefucks like those at Kotaku and super super smug, so if they had a #MeToo story on a scandalous chat log from a dev or something they could dig their heels in and be On The Right Side of History!!! they would lead with that energy. Kotaku is synonymous with punchline now, and it's an opinion that's spread from the Trash fire of free thinker side to the mainstream, because the only time you hear about Kotaku at all anymore is when someone associated does or writes something hilarious. It's great.

 

[Robb]

Totally agree with them. I was playing Battleships with my 7-year old the other day and couldn’t believe she treated it like a game.

Needless to say she doesn’t live in this house anymore.

 

[ChorizoPicozo]

woow give them a Pulitzer.

 

[Cyberpunkd]

I am not going to click on the link but I assume this "writer" doesn't play any violent videogames, ever, because if they do this would be a pretty weird spot to take a stand.

As much as Kotaku is hot thrash the article does have a point. It’s simply a matter of changing sensibilities, since kids were playing with toy soldiers since forever.

 

[Labadal]

It's a fucking video game.

 

[Portugeezer]

Hoes mad.

 

[SpiceRacz]

Time to add another square to the bingo sheet, I guess: "[irrelevant thing] is impossible to ignore."

"Yikes."
"This ain't it, chief."
"Big oof."
"Let that sink in."
"Impossible to ignore".

In any case, if you insist on reading Kotaku, at least include an archive link to their "articles" so they don't generate revenue from these kinds of threads.

"There's a lot to unpack here."

 

[Ozzie666]

Oh wow, let's remove all the fun out of video games. One game at a time.
Let's over think things. Where has the imagination gone. Are they trolling us?

Unreal.

 

[GymWolf]

Kotaku has been blacklisted by how many game developers so far?

Not nearly enough.

 

[Marvel14]

"The tonal dissonance between its cheerful art style and the actual subject matter is impossible to ignore."

"You just spend some money to recruit more bodies for the grinder, or manufacture more tanks for the front line. None of the COs seem concerned that war comes at a price."

"But I couldn’t stand to watch these young commanders treat war like a board game, one where only their personal pride mattered. I lost an average of five to eight units per battle, and I felt worse about my losses than any of the characters did."

"By the time I stopped playing, I realized that my CO actually did deserve to be represented as a child. Even the game wants you to know that these characters are all just children playing at war."

http://[URL][URL][URL]https://kotak...t-camp-nintendo-switch-tactics-gba-1850395313

[/URL][/URL][/URL]

If these guys had any sense they'd embrace the satire and become the Monty Python of game reviewers.

Instead they expect us to take this shit seriously.

Ps Self parody reviewer who wrote this should hold a real memorial service for their fallen soldiers if they are that cut up about it...I'm sure most pastors won't tell them to treat death with more respect...

 

[cornonthecrobb]

fuck i hope the person who wrote this hasnt played this war of mine

that was fucking brutal